And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
