Dual....:-)
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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