I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
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