I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize