How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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