I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
