i permit you to call me
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
