i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize