do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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