How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize