So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My penis needs a shock collar
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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