maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
