I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Are we still banned from the library?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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