have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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