He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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