Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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