and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
