I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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