Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
