oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
