I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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