I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
