I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
