I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
