I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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