I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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