Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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