I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
