need another drink. this is the easiest way
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Randomize
