U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
