girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
