there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
