so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
