I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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