It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize