I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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