i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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