Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
