oh god the rape fog is back!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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