i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
