i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
