just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
