that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
