So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
