It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
