New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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