This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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