FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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