Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
