It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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