He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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