am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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