ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
