we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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