he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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