well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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