just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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