There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
grandma shit on top of the toilet
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
A+ Viking dick
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