dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
