Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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