Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
