He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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