You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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