i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We need to get me chipped asap
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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