yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
