He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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