oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
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