It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
